On the Bus: Overheard on the 171

A young lady of about 30, evidently connected to the theatre, talks into her phone without apparent inhibition:

“And I said ‘Look. If you’re going to dislike me could you at least do it quietly?’ I just really hate loud public drama… He said that last night they’d slept without touching for the first time ever and apparently it’s my fault. And I just thought, ‘You know what? I’m really not interested in your sleeping arrangements.’ Do you know what I mean? …Stephen Sondheim’s boyfriend came over to our table… I’m thinking let’s just call Stephen and ask him.”

An earnest man talks to an earnest-looking woman who remains largely silent:

“A central theme in the Titanic is the lack of integrity of the middle classes. They completely lack soul and so they parasitize the working classes. It’s like in Brixton Village Market. They sell champagne now and it’s just the same price as it would be anywhere in London. And all the places there are like that now, right in the middle of an old working class district. I feel really uncomfortable in that place.”

A loud, drunk, nerd bellows at his companion in what is apparently English:

“Yeah I played it. It was really weird. It had no verticality. It didn’t talk about game information. I love Star but… One of the other sources that I listened to said that the GVC was really biased because nobody wants to play. 12 people came in and they wanted to play but it was really aggressive because nobody wanted to play a support role. No engineers, no spies. The sources that I listened to say that this totally invalidated the class…

“There was all this class synergy that we could look at and see…

“There’s a thing. It’s really important but I can’t show it to you…!

“I totally and utterly agree, it was the equivalent of seven years ago and everyone playing Level 2… You know as well as I do that 66 is two soldiers and a demo. There is no one single key to fit all locks…

“… new version of Overwatch… the opinion of people that played it. Yes there are class-class encounters… the bigger meta… One time out of ten you have the non-verbal polls and it works… What we consider in the FBS as an encounter…

“…and I know that I sound like an arsehole…

“By having 14 classes at this point maybe more… if you diversify too much it explodes. As someone who plays primarily sport classes, primarily Medic, I have the scenario when I got to the last minute and I have built up 80% uber and my team fucking disappears. Do I let them die? Or do I go in with 80% uber? I am SO potentially talking out of my arse right now…

“I cannot conceive of myself at this point of time being a professional [game name I didn’t catch] player. I’m too old, too disaffected…”

London Neighbourhoods 4: Nunhead

An edited version of this post first appeared in the SOAS Spirit (Print Edition) as Lost in the South East: Welcome to Nunhead on March 3rd 2015.

Nunhead. For years it was just a name to me, and not a particularly promising one. I knew it could be found somewhere in South East London, a bedfellow to unlikely-sounding places like Brockley and Hither Green, but that was it. Since I moved to Peckham a few months ago, however, Nunhead has leapt off the map and (almost) onto my doorstep, and I find myself falling love.

Admittedly if you arrive in Nunhead by train, first impressions aren’t inspiring. A Londis. A chippy. A fried chicken shop. Perhaps a knot of morning drinkers near the station entrance. I can practically hear the Islingtonites sneer. But just round corner, on Evelina Road, things pick up in a rather unexpected way. First it’s a greasy spoon caff and a DIY shop, then a traditional butchers and a few doors down a bakers. Next you pass a fishmongers and a retro/vintage shop and before you know it you’ve hit an honest-to-goodness village green with three pubs, a row of alms-houses and that quintessentially English of institutions, a Salvation Army Temple.

“Urban village” is a hackneyed term, but seems to do Nunhead justice. It is as far from the yummy-mummitude of East Dulwich as it is from the rough-and-tumble enticements of Peckham Rye. It’s a modest sort of place that’s never going to be the next Shoreditch. That said, F.C. Scoper (since 1897) has been described by the Observer as the “best fishmonger in London” and I can personally attest to the excellence of its mackerel. The Old Nun’s Head gastropub, meanwhile, gets rave reviews for its burgers and real ales. Nobody is really sure about the story of a nun fleeing a monastery that supposedly gave the pub, and then the suburb, its name, but “Nunn-head” can apparently be found in records dating back to the sixteenth century.

Lest you imagine it’s all craft beer and line-caught halibut, I should point out the takeaway options: Indian, Chinese, Caribbean, Portuguese… there’s even a “Taste of Barbados” (Bajan Spice) which I look forward to trying. Aside from the aforementioned DIY store there is a bike shop (Rat Race Cycles), opposite Bambuni delicatessen. This latter is the kind of place about which epithets like “the best flat white south of London Bridge” are probably bandied. I spent a happy time there ogling fresh bread, posh cheese, craft beers (yes I know, I know…) and cashew butter. The chicken shop-betting shop pairing across the road is a faintly reassuring reminder that you’re still in South London.

Arguably a bigger draw than any of this, though, is Nunhead Cemetery. In the words of Southwark Council it is “perhaps the least known but the most attractive of the seven Victorian cemeteries on London’s outskirts”. Down a quiet road, huge wrought-iron gates open onto a path that leads up to a grimly majestic ruined gothic chapel. Turn around for excellent views of the City and Canary Wharf but then press on into an eerie maze of trees, dense undergrowth and copious graves. There are no real showstoppers here – all the big names are buried in Highgate – but with a bus tycoon here and music hall artist there, there are some attractive tombstones. Most of the names you see are very Anglo-Saxon, but clustered at one end a number of Greeks, Caribbeans and even a Zoroastrian Parsi can be found.

Even better than the view from Nunhead Cemetery is the view from nearby Telegraph Hill, which comprises a delightful pair of parks, set in attractive Victorian suburbia. There is the Telegraph Hill Centre, a much-loved community centre founded by anti-apartheid campaigner Trevor Huddleston as well as a Telegraph Hill Society. Much could be said on the subject, but at this point we’re straying from Nunhead into Brockley, and it’s time to catch that 17 minute train back to London Blackfriars. Nunhead – it’s not as far as you think.